MONOGAMY

okay…so…my dad’s been stuck with my mom for like 20 odd years….so has ur dad with ur mom(probably…possibly 😛 )…being raised with a “loyalty until death” attitude can actually make u stand out…in a totally different and at times awkward way…for example….loyalty can make u look like one total al qaeda extremist…and sum of my friends temme” dude…changing partners is jus like changing jobs or clothes”….and i don get the whole point…totally….yes given…u definitely need to change clothes…for “the greater good”:P….but um…the analogy with changing jobs is….totally shitty…here’s why:

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“a mind numbing 81% CEOs of AMERICA’s top 100 corporations have never changed their jobs (or have changed at best only one) throughout their lives….A monumentally similar 75% CEOs of leading non-US corporations have spent more than 35 years or more with the same company they lead……The solid Booz Allen Hamilton 2007 report (The Era of the Inclusive Leader) shows how, globally, the average CEO tenure now is the highest in all the years of their study (and for North America, the CEO tenures are the highest among all continents). Take that for loyalty again!”

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aaah….loyalty….and where-America….thts y i highlighted it….damn cool huh….the country of true liberty…u get to “ahem ahem” with many ppl….lets face it…u kno it…i know it…america-the land of blatanly having 15 ex-es and doing “it” for timepass….yeah right….at times we all wish we were born american’s right :p ….and America has the world’s greatest GDP guys…so the most productive guys in the world are the guys who re fooling around in their personal lives….and there’s this piece of info too:

The US Census Bureau shows how US divorce rates have dramatically fallen since 1972 to reach the lowest ever now – 3.8 divorces per 1000 (a smashing 30% fall since the ‘70s) – as per the last recorded data….3.8 divorces per thousand….so um the chances for a “brand new and stunning” wife are less than .38 percent….the odds are soooo against us :P….so here i go…ask my dad”Dad…wat are ur prospects for a new wife?”….dad gives this one look”no my son….upto u….the odds are read bad tho”….and my retort “when the going gets tough…the tought get going ” :p ….and my mind starts to wonder “if india’s been so loyal….how the heck did we end up with excesses(by excesses i mean kids)….okay…mayb American’s “outsourced” ” 😛

Yeah yeah…been long…i know….ll write regularly…

Saran a.k.a Konvict

PS:I totally love Calvin and Hobbes…they totally rock….damn…i shudve written this in my eee exam :)…jus look at his mouth in clip 3….awesome!!!

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Viewer Discretion is Advised

viewrHey guys…..so its been a long week(and 8 theory periods tomo….yawn)okay here’s the deal….i kinda tot it wud be boring if i keep writing and…um…so here’s Fifa(a.k.a tops :p ) writing a spl section called “The Female Perspective” coz u know…might by chance help hopeless guys….and as Ron says”u should write a book Hermoine…”weird things girls do so that guys can understand them””…and ya ppl…JUS IN CASE ANY1 WANTS TO WRITE  na ur damn welcome…so upto u to think of topics u like andpost it …. ll help…and yea tot it ll be better if u kno we have all our stuff together rather than puttin it up in diff blogs…so tht it ll be easier to read if its all in one place….so jus get into touch with me….and here’s wat she has to say:(and yea…she s a girl…so the viewer discretion picture :P…and the category name-Pink power(bleh!! :p…sorry yar..had to rub it in 😛 )

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This is precisely why guys fail to understand the female perspective. As a joke haha for pointing out that Edward is rolling in gold and has klller looks. But jokes aside the serious point you are missing out on is that the reason girls like this perfect Edward Cullen isn’t because of his Porsche but his other qualities that guys gloss over but that scream with flashing lights at girls: he is completely dependable, totally trustworthy and the kind of guy that makes girls feel secure. If you’re going out with him, you don’t have to be constantly questioning whether you’re a default option, whether he really likes you, if he would accept your flaws or if you have to be on your toes to keep bringing something new to the relationship so he doesn’t get bored. Not all girls may like to fall in love the way Edward and Bella did but one thing I do want out of a relationship that many guys do not offer is familiarity. How long can guys and girls be best friends before the guy decides suddenly that he is ‘in love’ with you and begins to plan the rest of your lives together? Presumptuous. I mean guys come on! Don’t take yourself so seriously! And how much respect are girls given? Oooh guys get majorly offended if they are rejected even if they are acquainted with the girl they are asking out for just a few months. Then normally, they take two routes: either they stalk you and totally freak you out; or they stalk all the guys you talk to. Creepy either way. And speaking of respect we come to the possessive kind of guys. So here you are in a happy relationship – girlfriend and boyfriend. And the girlfriend has guy friends she talks to – whom she may even be close friends with. Beware the green eyes then because they always flash dangerously. In which case, guys, either the relationship isn’t serious enough to warrant trust both ways or you’re just being silly. Hello! The girlfriend is not a caged canary that is solely yours till you choose to let her out when you decide you want a different breed. If your relationship is serious enough then trust her. Trust her to be honest and give her the respect she deserves. Otherwise there’s no point of you two being together.
No offence but guys you have a long way to groom yourselves into a perfect man! If girls live in a world of fantasy why can’t u guys be the one to fulfill their dreams? Its after all for the one you love the most! 🙂

Until next time,

Fifa

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Konvicts’s Side of things:

“How To Satisfy A Woman Every Time:Caress, praise, pamper, relish, savour, massage, fix things, empathise, serenade, compliment, support,feed, soothe, tantalise, humour, placate, stimulate,stroke, console, hug, ignore fat bits, cuddle, excite,pacify, protect, phone, anticipate, smooch,nuzzle,forgive, accessorise, entertain, charm, carry for,oblige, fascinate, attend to, trust, defend, clothe,brag about, sanctify, acknowledge, spoil, embrace,die for, dream of, tease, gratify, squeeze, indulge,idolize,worship.
How To Satisfy A Man Every Time:Arrive naked.period….(kiddin allright…but its kinda true :p )”

Mmm….thinkin from the guys point…there are jus 3 things tht matter to us:1.F*ck us   2.Feed us  3.Dont yell at us…..and women….u sure do have a loong way to go :p

Yeah yeah…aah….gethu post…loved reading it 🙂 …. Fifa’s done an amazing job…to keep it real short lemme show u 2 pics:

guysbraingirlsbrain

“Get out of my house”-Dad….”Sure thing….first find me another 3 bedroom flat…fully furnished”-Me

sds_rebels_450 I’m home….its 1 30 in the night…..our family of 4 jus visited my aunt’s place…my fav aunt that is….and umm….a few stuff happened which i cant get outta my head…so im literally forced to blog in…coz i got no diary 😦 … look guys im gonna take this out on u…and this one is soooo damn long….so be very patient while readin it ….. jus bear with it or drag ur mouse over and click the cross button on your lefthand top corner(ada cha…one yr aa we mugged STAR OFFICE….and the language stuck with me 😦 ….ena da life idhu….i wasted one yr learnin how to left and right click with a mouse…ironically this is wat every 12std comp group learns…height of hopelessness….no wonder guys “ogle”(one girl told me tht word…ogle….sight nu simple a solama periya iva nu nenapu :p ….okay okay no tension ri…jus kidding) at girls….we know how to left and right click!!! and coz u make us “learn” that for a year we got nothin to do….hence we guys face “dangerous” consequences by ogling….shabba ena ma justification…hopeless again)

Now to the main matter….Thursday evening was at anu’s place…Friday football with PJ cr7 and GV and their bus seniors…sama game…our team lost 6-8….in my debut match(for this team :p ) i scored 4 goals….so overall happy…sama like our team played…jus a bit unlucky to miss a few easy ones…..we guys decide to go to juiceshop nearby….i drink 2 sprites 3 lemon juices and 1 chocolate milk(okay okay….kannu vekadhinga)…come back home after dropping PJ….patha mom shoves oru plate full of rice and COMMANDS …”EAT”….to top it all i drink lots of water….seri i go get the box where chips is “hidden” at home…patha mum shouts “ivlo veggies irukum podhu y chips”…and she grabs the box and hides it….i feel like crying ( :p )…eat half the food and apdiyae stomach says podhum…look at mom….look at plate….eat without another look….now the reason is ….mom and dad HATE football….we got sum history for tht…tho initially dad was like”how was d game?” he got a look from mom and like all dads was forced to shut up…ilana sapadu kadaikadhu la :p ….anyways they totally dont like me playing….and mum’s like “we work so haaaard for u…to ensure that ur future is bright”…and dad says same thing differently….i defend saying”i havent played in 2 months dad….ive given it up for u”….Next morning i wake at 8 and sound comes “look at me and ur mother….look at how hard we work”(tape recorder madri)….now for all those who have had cramps in ur thighs and have fallen down while playing and got ur knee hurt…u ll kno how hard it is to get up next day….to top it all mom teams up with dad and they gang up on me….and it definitely hurts if u got a younger sibling who is waay too studious than wats good….okay so she got a 100 in math science social and ll probably(no…she surely will) kick my arse in the boards(so wat? doesnt bother me….dunno y it bothers them so much) it hurts much more when u constantly get that “ur the elder one….ur the guy…u ve got to take up the responsibility”(screw responsibility 😛 ….its not as tho im not responsible okay….i jus wanna have my share of fun too….afterall u get to work na aprom game over…period)it hurts when they make me look like a loose canon…..ahhhh Eminem-“These ideas are nightmares to white parents….whose worst fear is a child with dyed hair and who likes earrings….like watever they say has no bearing…its so scary in a house tht allows no swearing…to see him walking around with his headphones blaring…alone in his own cold zone and he dont caring”…..now this did happen….linkin park in my stereo system with its blasting noise and chester goes “Given uuuuuuuuuuuup”….mom gives me this look tht says”MY SON Has gone MAD….plz help”….since then i ve taken to headphones….even when im not listening….so i get to i pretend i dont hear them :P…. all this over emphasis on “elder one””responsibility””commitment””sincerity””hardwork” can actually screw u up….def does screw me up….u shouldve seen mom’s look at my gpa…. 8.6(she goes pale)…..wait till she finds out this sem’s gpa(ha!!)

hell ppl…every turn i get this reminder…and so do u….”we re paying 1 lakh a yr for ur education”….okay so i dint get into anna university….it was my dream….i worked real hard for it…cudve taken IT der….din want to…and yea i jus missed it coz of pure dumb badluck….and “its like the weight of the world…i feel like my neck is breaking…should i give up or try to live up to these expectations”(more of eminem 🙂 )….yeah….watever said and done it was jus bad timing yar….and they rub it off every chance they get….they stick it up to the point tht it hurts….real bad…..anyways…wat i telling them is “cant u understand me?”

okay okay….new insight onto this one….i ve known ppl breaking up with each other coz one person does ” understand” the other….yea u gotto give it to them…personal choice…..but the question here is….”can i break up with my parents??” 😛 …is understanding the most imp thing???….probably yes and probably no….lemme elaborate…like we planned a sleepover today at Apoorv’s place…Apu me bin roga and pandey….like i really wanna go but we re held up at aunt’s place…we ll prob be back home at 11…then mom says” u cant go for sleepover” and we have this gethu arguement abt whether i gotto live my life or she s “planning” it all for me…apo dad intervenes and says” Get out of my house then….Madaya…ivan la epo thirundha poran”……”I wanna runaway and never say goodbye”(-Linkin Park 🙂 ) level ku the arguement rose….so i called roga nd told him” ila machan veetla gand etharanga”…im sure u ve had these” friends arent important in ur life…avana sor podunvaan” dialogue….im like ” cant they see i ve stopped playing football for them…cant they bloody understand that im trying too…tht i do try to give my best”…and while im typing this i truly recognize tht mom has security reasons for not lettin me drive at night….and basically she doesnt want me mixing with the “wrong sort”….and i kno she s doin this coz she likes me like hell(and i luv u too 🙂 )….bt we still dont “understand” each other much…ana we love each other….mmm interesting

and yea back to the point….i ve had enough of my dad going ” ivan enga thirundha poran…..seri ila….nee lam ena pannapora”….coming to the 1 lakh….i felt like saying” i ll pay u back a hundred times over”(ana my stupid brain told me”100 times return over investment is waaaay too much…don promise” :p)

Mum and dad probably “planned” my life like this:…..but something horribly went wrong with their expt 🙂

nerds nerds2

nerd2nerds

AND this is the main part…told  u abt the aunt right…she s a social teacher….like for the past 2 board exams ive written i ve gone to her place in the study hols to “train” myself….and i respect her a lot…and parents go tell her im suthifying waay too much…and aunt tells me to isolate myself from friends….worst ena na she gives me 10000 bucks….to “stay away” from my friends….ever heard of this tactic?? 10000 bucks….to make me stay away……apparently all i got to do is stay at home and not visit friends and i ll get cash….wat a way to get rich!!!!…bloody hell….good job elders…good job….now as i touch my pocket…my mind goes “machan nalaki satyam with bus gang….and treeeeeaaaat” 🙂

now this again gets me thinking….im a born rebel(shocking really….feel like “rebel”ling that :p )…”You are taught you must perform, keep up, and “make the grade,” or you aren’t worth much. If you do work hard at
making the grades, some authority figure(no no…not that figure….) is bound to ask, “Why are you studying all the time?Why aren’t you out playing with the other children? What’s wrong with you? Don’t you have any
friends?”Catch-22 never had it so good….as a rebel(self confessed)….we(im sayin we….coz “we” have waaay too many ppl like me) like to think of ourselves as”independent.”…. we have, in fact have adopted a reaction to whatever “law” is set before us…”Authority, you tell us that we’re no good. Well, authority, you’re no good.”….and me….im reckless…totally…”it isnt the rebels who cause the troubles in the world…its the troubles that cause the rebels”(it jus feels soooo good to justify wat ur doin na…. 🙂 )

TC ppl….“Not all those who wander are lost”. -J.R.R. Tolkien in LOTR(omg i jus realized im  a showoff as well 😦 ….im think y im adding tht quote summa….seri free vidu….ur all as crazy as i am….and i BELIEVE in it :p )

Saran a.k.a Konvict

PS: Check this out….look at wat the french president’s doin at the G-8 summit…and obama…well he s jus looking at her heels 😛 …u kno when girls climb stairs with big heels its a politeness thing to look at them…so that in case they fall(which they dont….to everyone’s dismay) u can apdiyae catch them and…..omg imagination enga lam podhu paru…. okay im a rebel coz of a reason:I hate water…esp “wet” water 😛 (okay ur gonna stone me…im leavin po)…and Sania Mirza got married(sigh)

Girl-Vamp-Wolf triangle-yena da book idhu

Hi again….its me(okay…dumb statement)….”Twilight”(man i loved this book….ore comedy )

THe book is abt a human girl who falls in “love” with a vampire AND a werewolf(trust me…both)…..now as normal ppl we come across girls who are straight…lesb…aww hell…now to add to the mixture we have crossbreeds :p …lemme elaborate…this female is totally in love with a vampire( apparently….he sama good looking…with apo apo golden and apo apo black eyes)okay fine she fell for his looks….and u touch him na he s like stone…sama cold and hard….he has his own family(complete with sister vamp brother vamp and mum and dad vamp)…and see he proposes sayn”i cant resist ur smell” or  sumthin like that(okay mayb he says tht later….my brain can see tht its a sama pathetic dialogue to tell a girl)…..and vamps don age…so he s like lived for 150 odd years….AND he owns a PORSCHE(now now…..i can hear guys saying no wonder she fell in “love”)…he knows to play the piano…is the strongest guy around…COME ON….the author being a female is TOTALLY chauvinistic(female chauvinism…..yea guys…they got all the weapons right now…they can cry style aa(okay as  in u know when to breakdown….i got a sis who’s got this amaaazing ability to switch on and off her tears)….and they re amazingly persuasive….plus when a girl talks to a guy its “being friendly” and when the guy does the same thing… “oooo he s a bad guy….he sleeps around i heard”….so my fellow guy friends…we lose hands down 😦 ….its a bloody female’s world out there….okay more abt guys and girls in later posts)okay here comes villian in the story and he s another vampire…who again “likes her smell”(he shouldve finished her for dinner….book ends….period….i wouldnt have read the rest of the series) ana hero saves her and does this: he runs away from her…..so heroines all depressed…. romba depressed….so she does this: she becomes “friendly” with a werewolf (gethu story aa….more coming wait)….now they’re friends who”accidently kiss”….and apo patha crap happens and herione gets reminded of her ex and goes to  save him(lke he gets info that she s dead and so he’s gonna suicide….now all the guys in the world…remember….if ur planning to suicide coz this happens na…in the  real world im SURE no girls gonna leave a country and come save u….ur ex is probably gonna say “die bas****d  ….die” :p(jus a joke okay…she s probably gonna add”for everythin u did to me” :p)….ana inga patha she saves him ….okay i strongly believe in love(more of tht in later posts again) and the reunite and feelings happen again….coz the guy “proved” his love by almost giving up his life…..Machan….idhla nambi try pannadhinga da….unaku sangu dhan varum…paaaoooooom(sangu noise correct dhana?)….seri back to story…now inda “friend” ku ena agum theriyuma…his stomach ll burn……he likes her…so oru triangle….girl werewolf vamp….sama triangle 😛 …. then the werewolf gets damn pissed and he runs away( very natural reaction…..she ditches him badly…..werewolf my advice to u :”u shouldve had her for lunch”…the book wouldve ended there and shabba….peace)ana again and again she troubles him and says this: “i love u….but im not in love with u”(dialogue of 21’st century….sama gethu la….go ahead and read it again…u ll kno wat banged up female she is….and guys again….beware…GIRLS ARE totally gettin innovative…ana we are totally ancient….least i am 😦   )so jacob’s(the wolf) dialogue : “nee panre lovveuu…yen vayrula yeridhu stoveuu…dandanaka danakunaka”…..aproma this vamp and female  get married and do matter and be happy…aproma she gets pregnant and has a half vamp and half human kid(see told u….crossbreeds…female fantasy …no wonder soo many guys are single…when girls are lookin for “unusual” stuff…y did it happen to my generation ??? :P)so den the vamp kid inside her sucks her blood…so she has to turn herself into one……okay inga dhan sama twists….like in between the vamp guy is totally okay with her “kissing” the wolf…im editing the bull shit….he goes to the extent of sayin…”its okay if u have a kid with d wolf…totally fine with me…jus don become a vamp”(yea yea….again…hopeless)…clearly shows tht the female author is amazingly bitchy and sleeps around….advice to her husband( machi u also sleep around da….. its like minus into minu=plus :p)….yea forgot to mention this werewolfy thing called imprinting….where like when u see ur soulmate naa u ll apdiyae get “attracted” like hell to her…and viceversa…..coz”its hard to resist that kind of admiration”am….adi serupala….if u admire a girl nalae indian girls go”aww look at him…trying to bang on me….guys are such idiots”(well so are u :p)….okay ana one wolf gets attracted to a baby…so he’s n “love” with her and when the baby becomes d babe she ll like him surely(see i told u….women and their ideas)….and end of story la this jacob ends up imprinting the halfvamp halfhuman baby of d vamp and heroine(author aa pottu thalalam la??)…the story is filled with descriptives like” how her heartbeat fastens when she kisses him” “how sweet bella smells””how cold edwawrd is….his muscles and all”(aww come on….this totally sux…i don wanna know how it feels to snog ok…we got youtube for tht :p)….and they all live happily ever after….Apparently this series is a huuugggge hit…esp with the girls(not again…) i tot im one of the few who totally totally hate it…patha there are millions jus like me….the author’s a fake….she hides all shit in her head by ranting on true love(look i believe in it allright….ana iva romba over)…..look im not prejudiced or anything…i love JK’s works(sama fan…and she s” a female…look at her series)….least sheldon was gethu(sama story line….middle la apdiyae matter….but hey.. he was frank okay…he wrote the shit tht came to his head) ana ivala paaru…hides every crap behind oru “i love u….but not in love with u”….better if she cudve admitted tht heroine’s a two face loser….the total book can be summed up in this way: “to screw him or not to screw….that is the question”….other than that na SAMA marketin strategy used….its made her filthy rich….she s made proper use of adolescent watever to trick ppl into buying d book….and corrupted innocent minds(my sis’s orkut picture-the vampire… 😦 ….how can u explain to ur younger sis tht its totally wrong to sight a vamp…sigh)so its a 1600 page series which i read in my study hols….no wonder i screwd up sems…..and to the author _|_(middle finger raising….amazing wat ppl can do with a keyboard right? :p )

THis is how a vamp should look like right??? okay….the girl fell for his teeth i guess :p

vampire

And “the week that was” for me –

Cr7 and me are listenin in class…..pinnadi one voice”machan mam nalla dress pannirkanga la??”….me and cr7 cant conrol our laughter….anyways….looks like ppl ve becom sooo despo in class tht they’re lookin at teachers…. nice 🙂

our math sir has this amazing voice….really awkward….and he starts with” sin2x=2sinxcox” pinnadi comment”machan idha munadiyae solirundha namba nalla mark aadhu eduthirpom”…sir goes to odd or even function”minus into minus = plus”….we’re like “wtf”….this is college….

and sappa joined facebook as vivek “hockey”(seriously)

yea yea…been hearing complaints  that each post is daamn long….ll write shorter ones real soon 🙂

“how u doin?”(joey style)-Saran a.k.a Konvict

Ps:went to roga’s bro’s wedding treat…congrats sollunga….ll post more abt wat happend there next time…till then seeya 🙂 and fedex: ur match was totally cool…congrats….and yea….at times mirka looked so tensed…like the baby’s gonna pop out any second(Mokka’s comment)….and both my friends NightFox and MOkka at the same time commented:Mokka-Arod’s gf is hot NF:Arod’s gf is se*y machan…check her out…(for the ppl who dunno who she is google Brooke….as in u get to see sum really good pics)…yea and for a while i tot fedex’s baby ll pop out too…